please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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