I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
