if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
