I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
