Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
