How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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