well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
