I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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