i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize