Your face is a jimmy john
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
