hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
