No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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