i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
