then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
