I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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