Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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