we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
this will be a night to untag.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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