He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
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I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
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I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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