Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
