i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
