and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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