it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
