This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
