Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
