Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
