I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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