She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
How's work?
Spinning.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
