So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You pole danced in your parka.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
