Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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