i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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