doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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