whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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