You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
no, he came in my armpit
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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