We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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