That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
