Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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