I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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