i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
