i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
