she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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