I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize