Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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