wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize