remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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