someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
