So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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