thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
