They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
