No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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