Will you blow on my dice?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
