Tell her she can't have a vagina
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
