You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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