Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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