we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
