the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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