You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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