This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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