I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
