but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
