Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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