I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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