...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
