Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
