toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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