I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
