smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
