Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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