Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
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My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
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Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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