Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
