Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
