WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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