Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
